The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.

Posted October 8, 2022 | Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

“Find your bliss!” Sounds so easy, doesn’t it? The truth is that finding your bliss may be a lifelong process. Not really what we want to hear. “So what about now?” you might ask. We are a society of instant gratification. I want it, and I want it yesterday. Well, there may be daily steps we can take to move toward our bliss.

Self-Discovery and the Inner Journey

One important (and perhaps complicated) step toward bliss is the inner journey of self-discovery. Self-contemplation, inner emotional work, and healing can be a step toward inner peace. This journey is, however, not a linear process but one of regular self-reflection, turning back to gaze at one’s life through a gentle yet honest lens.

Finding a Meditative Practice (in Whatever Way Suits You)

One step toward finding bliss may involve a meditative practice–whether it be yoga, meditation, walking in nature and forests, or gardening–a practice that slows you down and soothes your soul.

We all need supportive loved ones who listen to us, understand us, and are emotionally there for us. We need family in the true sense of the word; often not biological family, but they may be for some people. Finding our tribe can help us to feel like we belong and have roots in this world. There’s probably a special person in your life about whom you’ve said, “She/he just gets me.”

Nature can be restorative to our well-being. For some people, this may mean plopping down at a quiet beach and listening to the waves, sitting under a special old pine tree and hearing the wind blow gently throw the branches, or perhaps putting on those trusty headphones and listening to your favorite song. For others, finding a happy place may mean discovering a unique corner of the world that truly feels like home.

Self-care is crucial to finding one’s inner bliss. It’s important to remember that we are more than the sum of our parts. Not only can we not pour from an empty cup, but as the saying goes, we also cannot thrive and grow if we are always running on empty. That may mean we take a mental health day off work or life in general.

A mental health day may mean different things to each of us, but at its core, it’s about self-care and slowing down. Take a breather from everyday life. Sleeping in, sitting outside and drinking in the sunshine, having a good cry, or maybe curling up with a blanket, a book, and a cup of tea for the day may be just what your inner you has been crying out for. If we don’t take care of ourselves, our body will often bring on an illness to force us into self-care mode. Nurturing ourselves can also mean seeking counseling when we need it.

Even the smallest of gestures–giving a stray dog or cat some food and water, helping a needy person, not stepping on that bug when you could just as easily have squished it–can uplift our spirits since we know in our hearts that we did the right thing in that moment.

In short, finding bliss can be part of our journey rather than a destination. It may involve finding a place that truly feels like home to us, but perhaps more importantly, we need to find our inner “home.”

Tamara Goldsby, Ph.D., is a U.C. San Diego integrative health research psychologist and sound healing researcher. Her goal is to bring healing to people on a large scale through her research and writing.

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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.